Humor Bagi Kehidupan Kita

“Unfortunately, some people believe their schedules are more important than their lives. – Patutlah disayangkan jika ada orang yang mengira bahwa daftar tugas yang harus mereka selesaikan itu lebih penting dibandingkan kehidupan mereka sendiri.” – David Leonhardt (dikutip dari The Reader's Digest)

Di era modern, dimana persaingan sudah sangat padat, kita dituntut berusaha lebih keras dan cepat. Padahal kita juga harus menghadapi persoalan yang kian pelik di rumah dan pekerjaan, tugas yang semakin menumpuk dan belum terselesaikan, kehilangan, jadwal tertunda, tidak ada solusi dan lain sebagainya. Semua itu menjadikan kita mudah stres, sebab seakan tidak ada lagi nilai-nilai positif yang dapat membahagiakan.

Pekerjaan dan krisis atau kehilangan sering dikaitkan dengan stres. Humor merupakan salah satu cara mengatasi tekanan-tekanan semacam itu. Bahkan humor juga mampu mempertahankan dan meningkatkan segala hal yang positif di dalam diri kita lebih optimal. Kemampuan seseorang dalam menciptakan humor dalam kehidupan mereka sangat berpengaruh terhadap kondisi emosional, kesehatan, dan hubungan sosial. Ketiganya pun merupakan faktor utama penyokong terselesaikannya semua persoalan dan tercapai suatu kesuksesan.

Humor membantu meringankan beban akibat stres dan mengendalikan emosi menjadi lebih baik dari biasanya. Sultanoff menegaskan bahwasanya, “Anecdotal evidence has long supported the proposition that distressing emotions and humor cannot occupy the same psychological space. – Berbagai bukti telah menyebutkan bahwa tekanan emosi dan humor tidak dapat terjadi dalam satu suasana psikologis.”

Humor sangat efektif mengarahkan pemikiran menjadi positif. Humor akan membuat hati kita senang. Bila hati kita senang, otomatis kita akan bersikap lebih baik terhadap orang lain, lebih mudah berpikir dan menemukan alternatif-alternat if baru yang belum pernah terbayangkan. Sehingga humor menjadikan kita siap bekerja kembali dengan lebih giat dan kreatif dalam menciptakan prestasi dalam kehidupan ini.

Sementara itu, humor sering membuat kita tertawa. Pada saat tertawa, sistem imun atau kekebalan tubuh dan sistem pada tulang, pembuluh darah jantung maupun otot bekerja lebih aktif. Ada yang menyebutkan bahwa tertawa merupakan olahraga organ dalam tubuh dan sangat efektif mengembalikan kondisi kesehatan.

Para pakar kesehatan menyatakan bahwa hati yang senang mampu menangkal penyakit, khususnya efek dari stres yang berkepanjangan. Norman Cousins menegaskan, “Jika kita tertawa lepas selama 10-20 menit maka kita akan terbebas dari rasa sakit selama puluhan jam berikutnya.” Tidak mengherankan bila kita merasa kondisi fisik ini lebih baik setelah tertawa. Dengan kondisi fisik yang lebih baik artinya kita akan memiliki energi yang lebih besar dalam berusaha mencapai kesuksesan yang kita inginkan.

Humor sangat bermanfaat dalam aktifitas kita sebagai mahluk sosial. Sebab dengan kemampuan menciptakan humor maka kita akan mudah berkomunikasi secara intensif dan membangun suatu hubungan sosial. Apalagi di era tehnologi mutahir seperti sekarang ini, kita dapat memanfaatkan tehnologi untuk mengirim maupun menerima humor secara lebih luas. Misalnya kita kirimkan cerita, gambar lucu dan lain sebagainya melalui internet yang menjangkau seluruh dunia. Hampir dapat dipastikan bahwa hubungan sosial yang lebih baik dan luas akan meningkatkan potensi kesuksesan.

Humor memang senantiasa diperlukan, dalam pergaulan, bisnis, produk, dan lain sebagainya. Perhatikan bahwa perhatian kita akan lebih besar terhadap hal-hal yang mengandung unsur humor. Misalnya bila kita mengikuti seminar yang dibawakan dengan penuh humor, maka kita akan mengikuti seminar tersebut dengan sepenuh hati sampai selesai. Padahal mungkin seminar tersebut sudah berlangsung 5 jam. Bahkan ketika pulang dari seminar tersebut kita masih tersenyum, dengan membawa perasaan senang dan semangat yang lebih besar.

Sebenarnya terdapat banyak sekali cara yang menjadi sumber humor dan menyebabkan kita tertawa, misalnya memberi nama lucu kepada benda-benda yang kita punya, lebih banyak memberi daripada menerima, menonton acara-acara, suara-suara dan wajah yang lucu, membaca cerita humor dan lain sebagainya. Tetapi kita harus memperhatikan apakah humor itu sehat ataukah tidak. Humor yang sehat mampu mengurangi stres, memberikan perspektif baru dan perasaan lebih baik. Sedangkan humor yang menyakiti bisa menyinggung perasaan orang lain, meningkatkan ketegangan, dan menjadikan suasana perasaan lebih buruk.

Secara umum target humor mengarah kepada diri sendiri itu lebih menyehatkan. Sebab pada saat kita mentertawakan diri sendiri, maka orang di sekitar kita akan merasa lebih aman karena mereka merasa bukan merupakan target dari humor tersebut dan mereka menjadi terhibur. Misalnya ketika saya menceritakan pengalaman sewaktu mengunjungi Eropa Timur, tepatnya saat berada di Jerman.

Waktu itu saya ingin ke toilet. Ada dua pintu, yang satu bertuliskan dumen, dan yang satunya lagi bertuliskan herren. Saya berspekulasi bahwa dumen adalah toilet pria. Tetapi setelah saya buka, dibalik pintu itu ternyata semuanya wanita. Saya malu sekali waktu itu. Banyak orang tertawa saat saya menceritakan pengalaman lucu tersebut. Setidaknya saya telah menyebabkan orang lain senang dan merasa nyaman serta lebih dekat dengan saya. Saya yakin telah mendapatkan keuntungan dari aktifitas humor tersebut dari segi kesehatan, emosional dan hubungan sosial.

Jadi jangan selalu menganggap segalanya terlalu serius. Sangatlah penting menciptakan humor di tengah tekanan persoalan atau pekerjaan yang harus kita hadapi dan persaingan yang begitu ketat. Manfaat humor bagi kehidupan sosial, kesehatan dan emosional, sebagaimana diuraikan diatas, cukup menjelaskan bahwa humor merupakan mekanisme yang sangat potensial. Bukan sekedar humor bila saya kemudian menganjurkan Anda untuk mengasah dan mencoba menggunakan kemampuan Anda dalam menciptakan humor untuk membangun kesuksesan yang Anda dambakan. Karena kehidupan kita sebenarnya jauh lebih menyenangkan dibandingkan pekerjaan dan persoalan yang harus kita selesaikan.

*Andrew Ho adalah motivator Asia, pengusaha, dan penulis buku best seller Highway to Success.

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Harga diri karyawan adalah tentang bagaimana seseorang karyawan menyukai dirinya, merasa nyaman dengan pilihan mentalnya, terlepas dari apakah pilihan mental dirinya positif atau negatif.

Terdapat 2 (dua) kemungkinan harga diri karyawan yang dapat terjadi :

1. Nyaman

1.a. Karyawan “tetap nyaman” dengan pilihan mental positifnya. Misal : Seorang karyawan baru (minoritas) tetap cuek (merasa nyaman) dan bekerja rajin (pilihan mental positif) dilingkungan kerja teman teman senior (mayoritas) yang pemalas atau pengeluh ?
1.b. Karyawan “tetap nyaman” dengan pilihan mental negatifnya. Misal : Seorang manajer merasa lega (merasa nyaman) jika sudah marah kebawahan (pilihan mental negatif)

2. Tidak Nyaman

2.a. Karyawan merasa “tidak nyaman” dengan pilihan mental positifnya. Misal : Seorang karyawan merasa tidak enak (merasa tidak nyaman) saat harus bersikap jujur dan menolak titipan absen temannya (pilihan mental positif).
2.b. Karyawan merasa “tidak nyaman” dengan pilihan mental negatifnya. Misal : Seorang pimpinan marah pada dirinya sendiri (merasa tidak nyaman) karena tidak tegas (pilihan mental negatif).

Disinilah “kecerdasan sikap” karyawan menjadi penting !

Dengan membekali karyawan kemampuan untuk mengenal “perasaan dirinya” dan kemampuan untuk “menentukan pilihan mentalnya” diharapkan karyawan dapat “menentukan sikap” dengan benar yaitu “nyaman” hanya untuk “pilihan mental yang positif”.

Top 10 Tips for Successful Online Dating

Feeling like there's something that's just not quite there yet in how you're going about this whole online dating thing? Don't feel bad, chances are you're one of the many people who're still pretty new to this gig. Heck, internet dating has only been around for about eight years, so obviously no one out there can claim to have all the answers.

But hey, seeing that we've been perfecting the art of matching people up online all eight of those years, we'd like to share a little of what we've learned about how to make the best of your online experience. Who knows, one of these pointers might be just what you've been missing in perfecting your own online dating adventures.

Therefore, without further ramblings, here are the:

A good picture really is worth a thousand words, and research shows that you are nearly 10 times more likely to be noticed if you post a photo to your profile.

And, the same stats hold true when you contact someone you've noticed on the site. If you don't have a photo, don't be surprised if the responses aren't too quick in coming back.

Now, don't get mad a start making accusations about all the shallow people out there. While it may be true that some people place too much emphasis on physical appearances, the bottom line is it does make a difference when two people are meeting and making initial evaluations of their interest in each other. And, it's also a trust thing. It is always going to be much easier to interact with a face than with a blank box.

FRESH IS GOOD Change your profile picture and greeting occasionally, add photos to your photo album, and login regularly-this will not only get you noticed, but it will help others get a more varied and up-to-date idea of what constitutes the real you.

When something interesting happens in your life, tell us about it in your profile greeting. This is a great way to let your online friends in on what it might be like to actually spend time with you. That's the main goal of online dating isn't it, to find people you'd finally like to meet and spend time with face-to-face? Anyways, it's always more fun to hear about a crazy experience you've just had than to read the same old descriptions of you and your cat that have been on your profile for months now.

As for photo albums, this is the icing on the cake. Not only do these photos round out and confirm the physical picture your friends are forming of you, but they also go a long way in helping others really see what makes you "you." The head and shoulders shot of you in your profile photo is nice and all, but when they see you hanging 10, running with your Chihuahua, or shoving a big fat piece of cheesecake in your mouth ? now they're getting to know you.

I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN ME Have fun describing yourself without making excuses about why you're on the site or who convinced you to finally go online. Tell us what makes you unique.

Believe it or not, being an online dater no longer places you on the fringes of society or even in the minority. Online dating has grown up and moved into the mainstream, and so you can now happily assume that the face-saving qualifiers of past times online are now obsolete. And, more importantly, just realize that they don't help your cause when meeting others online.

One more thing ? try to be original. Yes, I'm sure you really do like the outdoors and want to meet someone who looks good in a tux and in jeans, but so does everyone else! Tell us some things about yourself that wouldn't necessarily come out in an elevator conversation with your tax accountant. For example, what are you passionate about? What would you do if no longer had to work for a living? What's your favorite flavor of gelato? Do you secretly wish everyday was sampling day at the grocery store? ? now it' getting interesting!

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY Don't be fooled thinking telling fibs will impress that special someone enough to get relationship started... it will turn them off! Be your best self.

When you really stop and think about it, what do you think your new friend's reaction is going to be if when you meet for the first time it's obvious you're not the person they thought they were going to be meeting? "Oh .. hi. I see that you've been dishonest with me from the get-go here, but hey, I'm still thinking we've got a great shot at having an open, trusting relationship for the long-term" Obviously not.

They're going to be hurt, and disappointed. And, your relationship is unlikely to get past the wave goodbye as your friend gets back in their car to go home.

IT'S NICE TO BE NICE Okay, so you get a little grouchy once in a while-don't we all? However, people like nice people. Please be considerate and polite ? it will make this whole online thing so much more enjoyable for all of us!

There's an interesting social phenomenon researchers have discovered in online interactions. They've found people often change their standards of politeness and diplomacy when a conversation is happening online, versus face-to-face.

Don't believe it? You might be surprised if you were to go back and look at some of the things you've said. Look at some messages you've sent, and then consider saying the exact same words in a face-to-face or a telephone conversation. Sound a little rough? Don't feel too bad, it happens to the best of us, just try to keep this in mind the next time you're typing out an email or instant message.

One more thing-please don't ignore people. A quick "thanks, but no thanks" note is so much better than no reply at all. In fact, next time you're replying to a message on the site, check out the new "Thanks but No Thanks" template. It's a quick way to nicely let someone know you're not interested in corresponding.

YOU CAN PICK YOUR FRIENDS? Invite your friends along! Create Activity Groups, go on group dates, try Express Dating, enjoy travel events, and just enjoy the net together. After all, instant messaging alone isn't enough to build solid relationships.

Group dating and group events simply make a lot of sense for online dating. Not only does it make those first dates less stressful, it often makes them more fun, and it definitely makes first meetings a much safer proposition.

Have you ever tried Activity Groups? They're a great way to meet people with common interests in a safe, fun group setting. You can join a group that's already been created, or you can create your own and invite all your friends to join ? and their friends ? and their friends ? you get the point.

BREAK OUTA THAT SHELL Don't be afraid to make the first contact. Online dating makes it easy for all you shy ones out there to break the ice, because you get to do all the initial getting to know each other from the comfort and safety of your own computer.

To start, just send a Flirt or a quick email message saying Hi-and do it often! You might be surprised how many of our great members suffer from lack of attention from their online peers. Not only might you find someone with whom you're very interested in maintaining contact, but you'll probably be making someone's day.

EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS If your first internet efforts haven't turned up "the perfect one," don't despair. Hundreds of new people sign up every day on the site, so just come back to see Who's New. You may also want to consider expanding your searches-don't be too intent on sticking to your itemized checklist for eternal mates.

You might also want to try some different searches from time to time. Because there are about a million different things you might find attractive in another person, it's nice to mix up the criteria you're searching on once in a while. For example, you can search by their Occupation, any Keyword or combination of keywords you can think of, and many others.

UH OH ? THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE FUN! Don't be afraid to have some fun along your path to relationship happiness! Enjoy getting to know people and understand that many happy relationships and even marriages start with a good ol' friendship. And, don't rush it!

You've heard animals can sense fear? Well, we humans can be pretty perceptive as well (except for that one guy who just can't take a hint). So, don't think others can't sense when you're frustrated, dejected, conceited, holier than thou, fed up, etc. etc. Put a smile on, and enjoy the ride, because even if the first few people you meet aren't Mr./Mrs. Right, it doesn't mean you can't have some fun in good conversations with them.

You may also need to be a little bit patient as you head off into the brave new world of online dating. Not all marriages are "love at first site," and even if yours is, it may take a lot of looking before you "site" that special someone. And so, once again ? enjoy the ride!

USE YOUR NOODLE Ya know, that gray matter between your ears? That's your noodle. Use it! Be smart, be cautious, and follow our safety guidelines, your instincts, and the spirit in all your dating activity.

Done right, online dating is a lot of fun, and it's a great way to meet some wonderful people ? just ask the thousand-plus people we've had submit success stories to us in the past few years! So, enjoy it, and follow these ten tips, and hopefully we'll be getting a success story from you sometime soon.