Lessons of working life

LESSON 1

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a
meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are
three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be
in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff. and he was
gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff and
he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office
afterlunch at 12:55pm."

Moral of the story:
"ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"

LESSON 2
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his
hand, "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important
document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive.
He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start
button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the
shredder machine. "I just need one copy."

Moral of the story:
"NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"

LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when
the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are
you?"
The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you
mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"
Again, the Japanese was confused over he question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you ...
Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......??? -"
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of
kee was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of
-kee am I ?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

Moral of the story:
"NEVER INSULT ANYONE"

LESSON 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French,who
found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie
appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he
said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a
wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the
pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and
shouted, "WINE".
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so
happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and
immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so
contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he
steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,
"SHIT!!!!!!! -........ .-"

Moral of the story:
"THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING,
BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"

LESSON 5
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was
in-charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain..... I should be in-charge because I run all body functions.
Blood..... I should be in-charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach... I should be in-charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs...... I should be in-charge because I take the brain where it wants
to go.
Eyes...... I should be in-charge because I let the brain see where it's
going.
Asshole... I should be in-charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.
To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and
stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste
whatsoever.
Day 1: Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2: Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3: Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4: Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5: Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6: The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in-charge.

Moral of the story:
"NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND
THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN-CHARGE"

Happy working!

Orang bijak adalah dia yang hari ini mengerjakan apa yang orang bodoh akan
mengerjakannya tiga hari kemudian. (Abdullah Ibnu Mubarak)

Udinese
Saatnya Zebrette Mendapat Respek

Enam giornata berjalan, Udinese sekarang berada di puncak klasemen Serie A bersama Lazio dan Inter. Dengan prestasi itu, sudah waktunya Zebrette mendapatkan respek sebagai salah satu tim kandidat peraih scudetto musim ini.

Di awal musim, tidak ada yang memperkirakan Udinese bakal bicara banyak di persaingan menuju tangga juara. Bahkan ketika mereka berhasil menapaki papan atas, pengakuan akan kekuatan mereka juga belum didapat.

Minimnya perhatian dari tim-tim lain dan media Italia sempat dikeluhkan pelatih Pasquale Marino. "Kami pantas mendapatkan lebih banyak respek," katanya di Channel4. Sejujurnya, Si Zebra memang harus mulai diberi perhatian.

Ini tim yang berani bermain menyerang. Pola 4-3-3 dikembangkan Marino jauh sebelum Jose Mourinho menerapkannya di Inter. Media Italia lebih memerhatikan 4-3-3 ala I Nerazzurri, padahal formasi yang sama lebih keren dilihat di I Friulani.

Saat ini, Udinese lebih tajam dari Inter. Zebrette memiliki lima striker: Antonio Di Natale, Antonio Floro Flores, Simone Pepe, Fabio Quagliarella, dan Alexis Sanchez. Kelimanya bisa masuk dan dirotasi di lini depan dalam formasi 4-3-3 ala Marino tanpa menurunkan kualitas permainan Zebrette.

Simone Pepe, yang tidak sukses di Roma, sekarang dipanggil tim nasional Italia. Ini bukti bahwa sistem penyerangan di Udinese memang berkualitas. Pelatih Gli Azzurri, Marcello Lippi, pun sudah mengakuinya.

Pertahanan Kuat

Tidak asal jago menyerang, Udinese mengimbanginya dengan pertahanan yang kuat. Difesa mereka saat ini bahkan menjadi yang terbaik di Serie A dengan baru menderita tiga gol dalam enam pertandingan.

Udinese melakukan itu tanpa dua bek tengah yang awalnya diplot sebagai jenderal di belakang: Cristian Zapata dan Dias Felipe. Kalau sistem bertahan mereka tidak bagus, tak mungkin bek-bek "darurat" yang dipakai Udinese mampu meminimalisasi akurasi serangan lawan.

Lini tengah adalah jembatan antara lini belakang dan depan. Dengan kualitas yang ditunjukkan I Friulani, sudah jelas bagaimana level performa centrocampista mereka. Gokhan Inler dkk. sama-sama kuat, baik saat bertahan maupun menyerang.

Dengan performa mereka sekarang, Udinese saat ini sudah melampaui start di musim 1997/98, yang merupakan pencapaian terbaik I Friulani di Serie A dengan finis di peringkat ketiga. Kalau bisa konsisten, peringkat dua atau malah scudetto bukan impian kosong. Jadi, memang sudah sepantasnya Zebrette kini mendapatkan respek. (Dwi Widijatmiko)